I totally forgot to mention our awkward dining experience that occurred five or six hours prior to Jocelyn becoming Hugh Hefner’s newest playmate. Jocelyn and I had been walking up and down Koh San Road shopping at the various vendors, when our travel companions phoned us to meet them for something to eat. So we walked to the restaurant and it was just the three H.B.’s and rad old Vad sitting around a table. We joined them and everything was fine, when all of a sudden out of nowhere the H.B.’s started having a bitch fight about a girl that one person liked and the other hated. It was the stupidest argument I have ever had the misfortune of hearing. It sounded something like this:
“blah blah she’s a fucking bitch I hate her and wish she died”
“blah blah blah”
“I don’t hate many people but I fucking hate her”
“blah blah blah blah”
Cue escalating voices, menacing stares, clenched Hulk hands, and eyes of fire now. The tension was incredible. Vad was looking at the floor, I was just starring at them in shock, and Jocelyn...oh Jocelyn how I love thee.
Jocelyn: “SO, DID YOU GUYS BUY ANYTHING?”
H.B.’s clearly ignore her and continue the fight with each other.
“fuck you bitch.”
“I fucking hate you whore”
“SO, ANYONE GET ANYTHING NICE?”
“your a stupid cunt”
“whatever you waste of skin and bones”
“SO, YOU GUYS READY TO PARTY TONIGHT?”
Now their conversation didn’t actually go like this. Their argument was so beyond the realm of
stupid that I still don’t have the slightest clue as to what it was about. All I know is there was a lot of cursing, “bitch” was thrown around a lot, and they looked like they fucking wanted to beat the absolute shit out of each other. And good old Jocelyn bless her heart tried her very best to create harmony amongst the H.B.’s but they just blatantly ignored her. These girls were the strangest group of “friends” I have ever encountered. As soon as one would walk out of the room, the other two would bitch about her as if she was the scum of the earth. Then the other person would return and they were all BFF’s again. It was beyond bizarre. These stupid bitches fought all the freakin’ time on our trip. If you didn’t know any better you would totally think these girls were enemies.
By the way the chick who claimed she didn’t hate anyone, hated every fucking person we met in the entire country of Thailand. If you didn’t have a penis and a hard on when you met her, she hated you. Crazy bitch.
No comments:
Post a Comment