You know how when you wake up with a hangover from hell, and then your oh-so-kind friends fill you in on your adventures the night before? Well Jocelyn informed me of the following the next day:
The nasty ass Asian Lover of mine was FUCKING NASTY and I probably have AIDS now.
I fell asleep mid-piss on the toilet, and Evan (guide) had to send a Thai woman into my stall to awaken me from my peaceful slumber. The poor woman was subjected to an image I’m sure she will never quite be able to erase from her memory, an image of me with no pants or knickers on, my head in between my legs, and fast asleep. Excellent.
The nasty ass Asian Lover had THE nastiest MOUSTACHE of all time. It apparently looked like an animal was growing on his face.
I was extremely obnoxious, and while walking down the street with everyone I began to yell at the top of my lungs “JOCELYN WE NEED TO FIND YOU SOMEONE TO BANGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG”. While yelling this, I of course gyrated my hips and made humping motions with my arms. Brad apparently found the situation, and I quote “the most awkward experience of his life”.
The nasty ass Asian Lover was most likely an ACTUAL homeless man.
I spoke extremely bad French all night long and asked everyone around me if they spoke French. Of course Vad and the three H.B.’s are all from Quebec and therefore fluent in French. I completely insulted their language and they will never think of the French language the same.
I popped my brand new 14 day contacts out of my eyes, threw them on the floor, and passed out on the bed.
I do not remember any of this. Wait, I lie. I vaguely remember being shaken awake on a toilet.
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